Open up and say SPAM.
So, let me explain this picture. NBC peeps from the Today Show were here yesterday. Poke friend Will Schwalbe, fresh from his stint on Colbert (so jealous), will be on the show on Friday morning to talk about the book he co-wrote with David Shipley, “SEND. The Essential Guide to Email for Office and Home.”
They needed some warm bodies to talk about email snafus - Poke Benny and Poke Nikki raised their nervous little hands and volunteered. It got me thinking about digital communication, and in particular Spam.
For some reason, I’ve started reading my spam. I don’t know if it’s related to the iPhone displaying it and not letting me mark things as read, or if I am just disappointed with the amount of email I receive and need to feel like I receive more.
Either way I don’t care. Spam intrigues me more than where your lap goes when you stand up (seriously, what is it when it’s gone?)
I just love the way some Spam weaves random phrases from books into its body, or uses an intriguing subject line, such as “Resplendent boy”. Beautiful.
And I have to share my all-time favorite spam. I shall treasure it forever.
I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog if medicine prices here (link removed) are bad.
Look, the site and call me 1-800-XXXXXX) if its wrong.
My dog and I are still alive :)
Now, let’s ignore the killing oneself before carrying out the threat of the canine eating and go straight to the smiley face. It can’t remember a time when a smiley face has ever felt so menacing. Every time I read it, I can see the magazine cover with the gun pointed at the dog’s head. Smiley faces are supposed to help indicate your tone, but this one throws me right off.
Also, spammers are great communicators. They think about subject lines more than anyone - a key to effective communication via email. As a copywriter, subject lines are something I’ve toiled and stomped on for quite a while. But that’s for clients. Do I put as much thought into subject lines with friends or co-workers?
Upon reflection I realize that I have, on occasion, used them in evil ways. I’ve used a subject line as a smoke shield to the grenade I’ve hidden inside. Actually, I’ve hit the send button while miming the action of pulling out the pin and throwing the grenade over my cubicle. But that was in the old days of cubicle land. POKE is an open room. A loud, yelling, echo-ey room.
Will told me you should never write something in an email that you wouldn’t say to the person’s face. What about to a person’s back? Is that close enough?
Anyway, here’s the thought for the day.
If we think of the concept of email as a goat, aren’t we just spray painting the word ‘scape’ on it? Isn’t it possible that cubicle land, the bunkering down of people in their offices, or whizzing off missives on their Blackberries on the bus, that these are the real culprits in this communication battle? People, why can’t you all just step away from the machines and talk to the dude sitting next to you? (And I mean you, not me because I ain’t steppin’ away from anything and I don’t like to talk to people face-to-face.)
Why can’t we just all get alongsies?
Poke Ponderation Ends Here
Got a disaster story about an email exploding in your sweaty little hands? Head on over to Will’s blog and share.
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